[not yet done, Ill finish later, off to school]
I woke up two minutes before midnight because, something bit/pierced my left ear, I touched it and I found blood in my fingers, I was in pain.
My classes ended half past ten in the morning, but I went home at three, i spent some time with regie and lelep. On my way home, I found myself alone, It was not a happy trip for me. Memories were flashing through my mind as I was looking outside the window of the bus. i found tears building up my eyes, I don't know why. Maybe last year's friday was happy.
Okay back to this time frame. I remembered that I left the PC open, it was downloading something, when it was finished, I checked my mail. I had some alerts on my multiply. It was someone I wasn't expecting to reply on my posts, She wasn't even suppose to read those. i found out later that I have set something wrong with who would be able to view my post. it's fixed now. Anyway. This time, tears built up in my eyes and flowed down my cheeks, I haven't experienced that for a long time. It made me think of many things. realization if you would call it that.
"Even if you are of adult age, People will only treat you like one iff, You act like one, You decide like one, You deserve to be treated like one"
I am still a kid after all, I still have so much to learn. I have learned to let go. I have let go of my ex girlfriend, but I have to admit, I haven't let go of my feelings for Jel.
People change, actually everything does, however, the rate of how people change depends. e.g. Some people might have moved on with their lives a lot faster than someone else. A person will change, what he feels, what he believes. who he trusts, it all depends on the things that happen around him and within him. Yet he enjoys some things the way they were, but he can't escape the fact that it will change no matter what, the only regret about this is that he did not change along with what he wanted to.
I need to learn to value the people around me more, show them that I really care, be less selfish and think about them too so I wont lose the important persons I have learned to be with.
Yes it's my birthday today, I always tell people, birthdays are for happy people, so it's not for me. Thanks Shinji for your side note on this. Thanks for the people who already greeted, Thanks to thepeople who have been there the past years of my life, You make it worthwhile, let me mention afew: CYandKaytee, X, Shinji, Nic, JM, Lep, Reg, Rain, Mico.. the list would go on... Anyway if one would ask what do I want? If I were to tell the truth, It's really a who. I want Jel more than anyone. I actually asked her out almost a year ago, I dont know why she picked someone else, maybe because of me being rash. the truth is, I just don't want to lose her anymore, I thought It was the right time to ask, after all the mishaps and almosts, but she picked someone else. That was something, You didn't know how i got through. actually I may not have yet...
I think what makes me think that I need her is because I want her badly. It's in my state of mind that I NEED her, because she is the only one who could make me happy. BUT do I really need her now? exactly.
"NECESSITY BEFORE LUXURY"
So there happy birthday to me, I'm not really happy though. Thanks for me and someone being late last wednesday. I won't be sleeping till midnight tonigh, something I try to do every year.
Thank you Anjelique for all the memories, the good and bad times. Four years ago, I idn't have a clue you'd make such a big impact in my life. I would surely want to meet you again someday.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
This is a picture of someone way way back. Stole this from someone, hope they don't get mad.
I cut my hair, Its actually getting in my nerves since it curls up every now and then. besides there's so many people fashioning their hair that way.
This is how I look now:
Pardon me, I just watched Borat again for the nth time, I was imagining that he was speaking while i was typing the words that you have read. I have finished typing this post. great success. high five!
P.S.
to someone: "I don't have feelings for you anymore..."
"NOT"
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twiceisthrice's journal
